Some poops, you relief immediately. Some poops, you feel good for a few hours. Really great poops, you feel good for the rest of the week. This ing shit, this one transcended everything. This was a life-changing poop. After what happened my life was divided into two: BS (before shit), and AS (after shit). Almost three years later, I still feel the pain. I will probably be in my deathbed and still remember the misery. I can say for a fact, this shit changed my life.

After a party that I blackout in, I woke up hung over as . My stomach ached with the pain of a thousand neckbeards. I was full, yet I was starving. I had no clue why I felt like this.

So…. I just ate. And ate. And ate. Whatever was in the house went inside my body. From ing popsicle twinkies to raw mayonnaise bottles. After what felt like an eternity of eating I got full. I felt normal again. So I continued my day as usual. But the next morning was the worst day of my life.

I woke up and immediately felt a great rumbling in my stomach, and my body presented me with a feeling of great urgency; I knew I better get to the bathroom quickly…. but I couldn’t move. I literally couldn’t walk to the bathroom. I called my mom, who carried me to the bathroom. I slowly lowered myself to the toilet and sat down. I distinctly remember my mother worried. She was praying out loud to God. She was just as scared as I was and I had never seen her like this. I had no idea what was going to happen inside my asshole.

I started. At first nothing happened. I pushed and pushed, while my mother was screaming at the top of her lungs. Finally I manned up, and ing let the biggest push of my life come out. I have never had a poop be so loud, or explode so violently out of me. The first fifteen seconds was the easy part. This was just liquid shit. Like it was literally brown water spraying from my asshole. It felt good. The shit evacuated my bowels like never before. Blasting poop, water splashing back up onto me, blasts of gas releasing, followed by poop. I felt my stomach shrinking.

Then it all stopped. I energetically yelled to my mother that I was done. I didn’t see, but I knew she was crying tears of joy. I made it. As I was wiping my ass I felt something in my stomach drop. It was a feeling so obscure, so inhumanly, so foul. I had to brace myself. I felt tremendous amounts of mass moving through my intestines. For a split second, I thought I was going to die. I was no longer in control of my life, I sat there helpless, simply along for the ride while my mother started to yell and pray again. The next 20 seconds were hell.


Unlike the previous liquid shit that came out, this one was rock ing hard. I hear women complaining that men never have to feel the pain of giving child birth all the time. Bitch shut the up; do you ing know what came out of my ass? Anyways, I used my hands to spread my butt cheeks open and just pushed. Nothing came out. I told my mom to come in and hold my hand, and together we both pushed. At this point I wanted to die. No questions asked I wanted someone to end my life. None of this was worth it. I felt nauseous and light headed, I felt like I was going to die. Finally I snapped out of it, I put my game face on and let out the biggest push of my life. Slowly, inch by inch, the poop started to come out. The pain, the feelings, nothing in my life had prepared me for it. After a good 20 seconds (which felt like an hour) it came out. And I shit you not it was the shape of a star. A huge shit star.


My entire body tingled. I felt lighter. I was covered in sweat and breathing heavily. I was in shock. My mother started crying again. Kissing me, thanking god that I made it. Great waves of increasing euphoria washed over me. Feelings of amazing pleasure I simply cannot describe. This was a transcending event. I felt like I had just touched the universe itself and became the truth.

I was in amazement at what lay beneath me. I simply could not believe my eyes. There was a mountain of fecal liquid, filling the entire can. It was only a few inches from touching the end of my nutsack. It was a mixture between liquid and solid. Absolutely beautiful. I didn’t even bother wipping, I went straight to the shower and sat down in hot water. My heart still beating at mach speed. That day. That morning. The way I look at life changed. I am a different person. For the better or worse? Who knows. That was the day I almost died.

**TLDR: My mother and I delivered a star.**



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